is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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