just tell him i said nine months
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
