I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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