When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
