i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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