I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
