I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
