What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
