We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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