I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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