Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
