Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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