yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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