I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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