oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
