I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
