winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
