You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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