I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
