so that wasnt chicken after all
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
