look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
