..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
