Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize