Taylor Swift is so right about you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
