guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
