Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
