you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
