You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
