He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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