Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize