At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
