Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
