The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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