At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
