remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
