she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
