Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
