So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
