found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
