i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize