Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
