And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
