Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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