he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
