Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.

Fav 3 938 2830
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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

Fav 73 6254 1151
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(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

Fav 25 9609 1121
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(914): View more from New York

I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.

Fav 35 5211 2115
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

Fav 14 6518 1388
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(207): View more from Maine

Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

Fav 40 5081 2431
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(214): View more from Texas

New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.

Fav 33 5152 1422
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(314): View more from Missouri

She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.

Fav 1 11 52
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL

Fav 0 40 7
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