Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize