Fuck appropriateness.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
