Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
