Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
