I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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