They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
