he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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