i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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