its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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