Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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