an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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