Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
